You’ve probably heard me mention goal setting a lot in the past few weeks. I first posted my focus and one word for 2018. We then discussed having a strong foundation and aligning goals with priorities, aka setting goals that you can achieve.
Today, I want to continue our goal-setting conversation with a final post. This one is about setting goals with your partner. All too often we forget that our spouse should be included in the goals.
Hubs and myself sit down to review the goals of the previous year and make updates for the new one. This year we did things differently – each of us answered a set of questions that we had written ahead of time. This was by far the most successful goal-setting session we have ever had. We were able identify areas in which we both wanted to improve our marriage. We also celebrated our favorite moments of 2017, and dreamed a bit about what we would like to achieve in 2018.
It was a wonderful meeting, and I’d like to share with you some of its how-tos.
This year, Hubs and myself went through some questions to get you started.
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Setting goals with your spouse: Why you should do it
- By spending time with your spouse and setting goals, you can reconnect while learning about them.
- By setting goals together, you can strengthen your marriage and identify areas of weakness and challenges as well as opportunities for growth.
- By writing down your goals, you can have a list that is tangible of what you’re working toward TOGETHER. It’s a great way to remind each other that you and your partner are on the same team.
- You can place your personal goals within the context of your family and marriage by setting goals together with your spouse. You can create a more effective plan for achieving both your family goals and personal ones.
- You spouse can be a great accountability partner, and cheerleader for you to achieve your goals.
- You can share your small [and big] wins when you work together.
- You can update and reassess your goals throughout the year by setting them together.
Set goals with your spouse: Make the most of your time together
- Set goals for yourself in the areas that are most relevant to you. Here are some ideas:
- Weddings
- Family/Kids
- Home
- Financial
- Dreams and Goals
- Make a list of questions you can work through as a team.
- We created a list of questions that covered the above topics about a week before our date for setting goals. I wrote the questions, and sent them to Hubs to review and comment on so that he could add any questions he wanted us to discuss. You can download the questions we used by clicking here.
- Make it a Date!
- It should be a lot of fun! Choose a time and place where you can both meet to discuss your goals. It could be your favorite bookshop, café, or restaurant. Choose a place you both will enjoy and where you can have a good conversation.
- Prepare each person.
- Prepare yourself for your date. You wouldn’t show up unprepared to a meeting at work. Do not go to this meeting without being prepared. Prepare ahead to ensure a productive discussion (and to show your spouse how much you value planning together).
- Celebrate the best of the previous year.
- Start by thinking back to the past year’s highlights. Accomplishments, fun vacations, favorite memories, etc. You can use these memories to help you plan for the coming year.
- Listen with a heart and mind open.
- This is a BIG one. It’s not just about looking back at the good times. This is also about finding ways to improve your marriage. This can be a difficult and uncomfortable process. Talk about areas in your marriage that need some improvement and work together to develop a plan for the coming year to protect against them.
- Hubs and I agreed that communication is one of the biggest weaknesses we had in 2017. We both had different perspectives on the reasons and how we could improve our communication in 2018. It was great to be able to listen to each other in a place that allowed us to voice our concerns.
- Write down your notes and start.
- You are more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. Note what the other person says. Together, write down your new goals. You can refer to them and stay on track if you write down your goals.
- Just get going. Decide your first steps and then just get started.