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Do you remember those days when everything seemed to be going smoothly? You’ve done the laundry, your house isn’t in a complete mess, and you have taken a shower. You’ve planned a fun day activity and the laundry is done. Sometimes, we have these days here and I’ll be the first to admit it. is. AWESOME. Super Woman!
On some days, I just can’t get myself together. At all. In the past week, I’ve burned dinner (I made chili mac & cheesy that was supposed to be delicious) and spent hours looking for a pacifier. I wore the exact same outfit for two days straight and I did not wash the dishes yesterday because I simply forgot.
It’s hard to find balance all the time. Even when you believe you have found the right balance, you may be surprised by life’s curve balls. You’ll need to adapt. Everyday is unique. You can have it some days and not others. Although I am learning to accept this, I still want control over my life. Control and three more productive hours in the day?
Mary and Martha’s Story: Choosing the Best Thing
Recently, in the midst of the chaos I sat intentionally down before bedtime to read The Story of Mary and Martha. I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed with many things, and I knew that I needed to reset. If you grew up in Christian circles, this story will be familiar to you. Mary sits at Jesus’ feet when Jesus visits. She wants to be there and be quiet. She is eager to listen to his words. Mary doesn’t care about the other things she has to do because she knows her time with Jesus is better spent than anywhere else.
Martha is another example.
Martha is another example. Martha is a task-oriented woman who can be easily related to. She is trying to accomplish things, things that she could do much more quickly with some help. Martha is working hard on her list of things to do. She is busy, and although I’m certain she would like to take a moment to listen to Mary and Jesus and be with them, who else will get things done?
The Lord replied, “Martha and Martha, you are both worried about so many things but only need one thing. Mary will keep what she has chosen. Luke 10:41, NIV
Here I am. I agree with Martha but I would like to be with Jesus.
Here’s what you need to know. Martha didn’t try to be a bad hostess, I think. I believe she had good intentions in her attempts to accomplish things. You have no idea how many times I’ve stayed up late to finish a task. Or how many things I have left unfinished because I was preoccupied by less important tasks. All these things distract me. It’s especially difficult for me to keep up with Little while also trying to maintain my blog and stay on top of the housework. It’s true that I was the same way before I had children, and I would guess this isn’t just a problem for moms.
How can we achieve balance? Here are five things I believe will help.
How to find balance in a busy life
Pray about It
For me, this is the most important one. When I spend time reading the Bible and praying, I can tell a big difference in how I “have it all together”. This is the most important thing because it reminds me that I cannot do everything on my own. To be the wife, mother, and friend that I desire to be, I must depend on Christ. It’s also an important reminder for me to remember that I should always do everything I do in the name of God. All of this is worship in that sense. It doesn’t matter if you do the laundry, dishes or read the same book over and over from the library. All for God’s glory. Some verses I hold on to in this season.
The Bible says, “Do not worry about anything. Instead, pray and ask God for help in all things, with gratitude.” The peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:17
“Be Still and Know that I Am God.” Psalm46:10a
“So, whether you eat, drink, or do whatever you do, make it for the glory God.” 1 Corinthians 10.31
Clarify your priorities
Priorities are what should drive our lists of things to do. Understanding your priorities is about understanding the different roles and responsibilities you have in the current season of life and how they rank. This can be illustrated by the following simple examples: Christ follower (wife), mama, family, friend, and blogger.
This is the general order in which I would like to have my activities. My relationship with Christ is my first priority (because I think it’s the foundation for all other relationships in my lifetime). It’s important to me that I am a good mother and wife in our family. It includes everything from keeping our home clean to teaching Little and maintaining my own health. The list is endless.
You may have a list that looks different than mine, but it is important to me that you make your own list and are clear on what it contains.
Plan Ahead
Plan ahead at the beginning of every week. This means planning our weekly meals, and then our shopping list. We talk about whether we need to add any events that are happening in the coming week. I also jot ideas down for Little’s activities every day. I track the days that libraries in our area have story times, as well as any other fun events happening around town and play dates we might need to attend with friends. We can get more done if we know what our plans are for the day. We can start the day with a clear plan, rather than wasting time deciding what to do in the morning.
We can also be more flexible in our schedule. Grocery shopping, for example, is not negotiable in our household. We will eat out if we don’t buy food. Story time can be negotiated, even though we do it regularly. If a friend texts me last-minute to meet up, I can shift story time to another date to make room.
It’s not just about fun activities. I plan ahead as much as possible. For example, the laundry will be done on Wednesday. This means hubby and I have to make sure that any laundry needs to wash is in the hamper by Wednesday. The bathrooms are cleaned another day, and I use my nap time to work on the blog. This is a great help to me.
Embrace “No”
This is a tough one. You sometimes have to say “no”. This is not my favorite tip. Although it’s not fun, I assure you that it is important. This lesson was taught to me recently when I planned to visit the library on a Saturday morning. Little was so independent and well-behaved after breakfast that the house needed attention. I knew that the clock was telling me to get Little dressed and ready for storytime. In the moment I realized that we should stay at home. We had a wonderful day at home playing and I was able to get SO much done because we declined our planned activity.
You may need to say no to a second outing with friends in order for you rest. You could say no to one more TV episode so you can do the dishes. Remember that each “no”, is also a “yes”, to another thing. We can say “yes” more freely to better things by learning to say no to certain things. This topic is covered in The best yes by LysaterKeurst, a book that I loved.
Give yourself some grace (and don’t be afraid to ask for help!)
Finally, show yourself some grace. You cannot be (and do not have to!) You cannot (and don’t have to!) Some days are better than others. The world is crazy. Realistically assess what you can achieve in a given week or day. Celebrate your accomplishments and learn why you didn’t accomplish them. You may have made the list longer than you thought was necessary. You may have not prioritized the list properly and missed some important items. You might have been unproductive that week. Was there an event that you could not control? You can achieve balance by answering these questions.
Asking for help is a great tip. In our family, I have learned that I tend to be the one who carries the burden of unfinished tasks. Hubs doesn’t see many of my worries as urgent. We accomplish so much together when I tell him about my worries and ask for help. He can help me get rid of my stress by talking me down and helping me create a plan for getting things done. He’s even sent me to the cafe alone when I felt like I needed to finish my work. (Bless him.) Ask for help.
Then,
I know it is hard. Let’s face it – I’m not always in control. I’m sure that these tips are useful, and I hope they will encourage you to keep going whether you feel on top of things today or overwhelmed. You probably have a lot of balls and hats in the air, no matter where you are. It’s alright. The dishes can wait. Maintain your sanity.